Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
