we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
