so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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