but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
