She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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