Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
