So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
