So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
