I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize