I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize