Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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