Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize