He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she pinky promised me she was 18
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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