Yo dont text me then not text me
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
