can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
