tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Too much gin, very little bucket
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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