I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
