Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
All I want is dick and wine.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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