we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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