I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
