yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
