I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
