And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
