Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize