Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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