Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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