I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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