why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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