Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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