she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
