I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
