sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
