i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
