Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Panties = found
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
