Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just tell him i said nine months
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
