afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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