weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
