I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
