under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize