Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Green mimosas i think yes
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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