so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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