i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
