I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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