It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
