I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
