ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
