I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
