like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize