Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
