she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
