just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
