Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
