I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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