I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
