This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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