he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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