Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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