I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
